7 Signs You’re Dating Facebook

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  1. You check it as soon as you get up in the morning. Pick up your phone, turn on your laptop –check Facebook. You’re afraid you missed out on some emotional 3AM status update from that person your hardly know but went to high school with. You’re also disappointed you didn’t get to like the new profile picture your crush posted right when they posted it because you were asleep. Terrible start to the day.
  2. You get more excited than you should when you receive notifications. Okay, so maybe you’ve been waiting on some event invite or more likes on the new food picture you posted to make your Facebook Friends jealous. That is hardly being attached to Facebook right? Its just that getting more recognition from Facebook somehow makes your day a little better.
  3. You want to tell Facebook where you’re going… actually you just want to tell Facebook EVERYTHING. You tell it when you’re going to the mall, what you’re eating, how you felt that day, the nightmare you had last night, when you change your job… the relationship is getting pretty serious.
  4. Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest… you’ve got it all but they can’t replace Facebook. You find yourself spending the same amount of time on Facebook regardless of how many other social media accounts you have. It can’t be helped that Facebook contains all your contacts! Twitter just isn’t the same you’d say to yourself. Actually, you just don’t even bother looking at the other things you have because you’re so happy just using Facebook alone.
  5. Everyone uses it too since its gone “mainstream”; the hipster in you doesn’t even care. When you started using it 6 years ago, you didn’t think it would become anything serious. Now you don’t even care if everyone else is using it despite being a self-proclaimed ‘hipster’. Well, love knows no bounds.
  6. You have a Facebook tab open at all times. This is the part where you feel the need to have access to Facebook at all times of the day. Sort of like going above and beyond checking up on your boyfriend/girlfriend and watching them sleep at this point.
  7. You try to add some app to your browser to limit the time you spend on Facebook but end up disabling the app to defeat the purpose. Its doing you no good by helping you procrastinate but you just miss it too much. You long to stare deeply into its vast timeline of updates, photos and texts… such a love-hate relationship.

At this point, the dating has gone from casual to unhealthy. I encourage you to seek help.

Try getting away from Facebook for a day (you’ll come back to realize you hardly missed out on anything)!

– itsfruitcakeweather.

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