7 Signs You’re Dating Facebook

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  1. You check it as soon as you get up in the morning. Pick up your phone, turn on your laptop –check Facebook. You’re afraid you missed out on some emotional 3AM status update from that person your hardly know but went to high school with. You’re also disappointed you didn’t get to like the new profile picture your crush posted right when they posted it because you were asleep. Terrible start to the day.
  2. You get more excited than you should when you receive notifications. Okay, so maybe you’ve been waiting on some event invite or more likes on the new food picture you posted to make your Facebook Friends jealous. That is hardly being attached to Facebook right? Its just that getting more recognition from Facebook somehow makes your day a little better.
  3. You want to tell Facebook where you’re going… actually you just want to tell Facebook EVERYTHING. You tell it when you’re going to the mall, what you’re eating, how you felt that day, the nightmare you had last night, when you change your job… the relationship is getting pretty serious.
  4. Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest… you’ve got it all but they can’t replace Facebook. You find yourself spending the same amount of time on Facebook regardless of how many other social media accounts you have. It can’t be helped that Facebook contains all your contacts! Twitter just isn’t the same you’d say to yourself. Actually, you just don’t even bother looking at the other things you have because you’re so happy just using Facebook alone.
  5. Everyone uses it too since its gone “mainstream”; the hipster in you doesn’t even care. When you started using it 6 years ago, you didn’t think it would become anything serious. Now you don’t even care if everyone else is using it despite being a self-proclaimed ‘hipster’. Well, love knows no bounds.
  6. You have a Facebook tab open at all times. This is the part where you feel the need to have access to Facebook at all times of the day. Sort of like going above and beyond checking up on your boyfriend/girlfriend and watching them sleep at this point.
  7. You try to add some app to your browser to limit the time you spend on Facebook but end up disabling the app to defeat the purpose. Its doing you no good by helping you procrastinate but you just miss it too much. You long to stare deeply into its vast timeline of updates, photos and texts… such a love-hate relationship.

At this point, the dating has gone from casual to unhealthy. I encourage you to seek help.

Try getting away from Facebook for a day (you’ll come back to realize you hardly missed out on anything)!

– itsfruitcakeweather.

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Why Everyone Is Playing Candy Crush Saga

So not everyone plays Candy Crush but… I figured even if you haven’t, you probably receive about 999999999 notifications a day from your Facebook friends requesting more lives anyway. If that isn’t enough for you, Candy Crush also makes an appearance in Psy’s new music video:

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We humans are such strange creatures. It seems that sometimes we don’t even understand why we continue neglecting priorities and procrastinating to keep playing games like Candy Crush Saga. Here is a little insight on why I believe Candy Crush is addictive —

It never ends.

From what I tell, Candy Crush Saga pretty much goes to infinity and beyond. If you happen to make it there, it appears there are other versions like FARM HEROES SAGA for you to deal with. (Not to mention I just found out you can actually get more lives for Candy Crush by playing the other versions of the game. Talk about never-ending.)

This is what makes Candy Crush so addictive. Ultimately, there is no goal. So no one is ever going to be able to say “I’ll be finished after this quest!” … Nope. You’re trapped.

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You get to “interact” with Facebook friends. 

Since none of us are willing to spend money to advance in Candy Crush, the game makes you send loads of requests to your Facebook friends to provide you with “tickets” to advance instead. This draws even more people into playing the ultimately pointless game. You can, as a result, “Play with Friends” as shown in the top right corner.

Its supposed to fulfill our need for human connections. Lovely. I suppose I can keep playing Candy Crush at the expense of real-life relationships. Send me more lives and we’re cool. PEER PRESSURE.

CANDY CRUSH SHOWS YOU RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS.

Its kind of like living out another childhood. WE JUST CAN’T BRING OURSELVES TO LEAVE A CRYING UNICORN 😥

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Final Verdict: Candy Crush is evil. (And highly addictive.)

– itsfruitcakeweather.