Viewpoint: For The People That Don’t Want Your Help

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Have you ever tried to help someone that refused to accept your assistance? It seems to be in our good nature to be drawn into counselling those around us that are down and help them see optimism. As much as logic tells you that it wouldn’t make sense for them to decline your helping hand, it is more than common that those you offer help to refuse it. If you’re someone that loves a “quick-fix”, the learning curve for you may be steeper when they don’t want your “fix-it” personality.

We never want to let it go though. We don’t want to feel like we’ve given up on them before trying to help.

The missing piece of the puzzle is for the other person to want help and at no point can we force upon them our own beliefs no matter how right we think we are. Admitting to having problems is upsetting but change can be horrifying. Before you feel utterly disappointed in them for not realizing they need help, understand that we all like to think we are capable of managing our own problems (before it gets out of hand and desperation ensues). Once we become obsessed with idea of being at the bottom of the well, we don’t bother to figure out where the light is coming from at the opening –let alone build motivation to get out.

While there is no “quick-fix” answer to helping those that don’t want your help… there are certainly things you could avoid saying to those in a panicked/anxious state of being:

  • “Calm down.” Take action instead of telling them this. Being unaware of their anxiety will make their issue worse.
  • “I’ll just leave you for a minute.” Does it ever trouble you when you’re left alone with negative thoughts? Try distracting them with a story.
  • “Stop overreacting.” While we accept that physically falling causes pain and an upsetting reaction, we should also acknowledge that the stress of anxiety is in the mind and equally painful.

When you’re trying to help the  person that doesn’t want your help, they don’t see it as a favor, in fact, they may become defensive as if you are accusing them of living their life wrong. For those of you that want to help and be there for others: When at first you give suggestions and then push them to heal they may become stubborn and overreact… you can let them know you care but sometimes they need to realize their problems on their own.

Frustrating as it is –you can’t help someone that won’t let you help. Don’t be angry.

— itsfruitcakeweather.

10 Problems With Staying Up Late (For All You Night Owls)

  1. One of the most challenging tasks is to sneak your way to the kitchen without making noise while everyone is already sleeping. Suddenly that little board that creaks makes the most monstrous sound when you step on it and the packaging of your junk food is louder than you had ever imagined.
  2. You end up sleeping in later than planned and end up not being able to do what you had in mind yesterday. Doesn’t it suck to wake up after noon and feel like you’ve wasted away half your day already? For whatever reason, the day feels miraculously longer when you get up early in the morning.
  3. While surfing the internet late into the night, you often come across hilarious/inspiring articles but can’t share them on your social networks. This is because there is not one up at that time to see it. Better off saving it for when everyone else will be up to read it eh?
  4. Overusing the excuse of consuming too much coffee/tea to the point that no one really believes you anymore. We all know you just don’t sleep. Can’t sleep. Won’t sleep.
  5. On the one night you’re exhausted and head to bed before midnight, the people you live with question if something is the matter with you. It seems that your habit of not sleeping has become a norm in the household and when you do sleep something must be wrong.
  6. People talk about getting up early to watch the sunrise and listen to the birds sing. Been there done that (almost every night).
  7. When you pull yourself to work/school in the morning you look like a zombie and complain to everyone around you about being tired –only to annoy them.
  8. You have no difficulty keeping in touch with people in different time zones across the globe because you don’t sleep anyway.
  9. The only thing really stopping you from taking up a graveyard shift at some part-time job is the fact that you’ll want to sleep once you get to it.
  10. You’re reading this really late into the night.

— itsfruitcakeweather.

Why Everyone Is Playing Candy Crush Saga

So not everyone plays Candy Crush but… I figured even if you haven’t, you probably receive about 999999999 notifications a day from your Facebook friends requesting more lives anyway. If that isn’t enough for you, Candy Crush also makes an appearance in Psy’s new music video:

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We humans are such strange creatures. It seems that sometimes we don’t even understand why we continue neglecting priorities and procrastinating to keep playing games like Candy Crush Saga. Here is a little insight on why I believe Candy Crush is addictive —

It never ends.

From what I tell, Candy Crush Saga pretty much goes to infinity and beyond. If you happen to make it there, it appears there are other versions like FARM HEROES SAGA for you to deal with. (Not to mention I just found out you can actually get more lives for Candy Crush by playing the other versions of the game. Talk about never-ending.)

This is what makes Candy Crush so addictive. Ultimately, there is no goal. So no one is ever going to be able to say “I’ll be finished after this quest!” … Nope. You’re trapped.

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You get to “interact” with Facebook friends. 

Since none of us are willing to spend money to advance in Candy Crush, the game makes you send loads of requests to your Facebook friends to provide you with “tickets” to advance instead. This draws even more people into playing the ultimately pointless game. You can, as a result, “Play with Friends” as shown in the top right corner.

Its supposed to fulfill our need for human connections. Lovely. I suppose I can keep playing Candy Crush at the expense of real-life relationships. Send me more lives and we’re cool. PEER PRESSURE.

CANDY CRUSH SHOWS YOU RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS.

Its kind of like living out another childhood. WE JUST CAN’T BRING OURSELVES TO LEAVE A CRYING UNICORN 😥

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Final Verdict: Candy Crush is evil. (And highly addictive.)

– itsfruitcakeweather.