Unfollowed.

Is there ever a good way to address the problem of unfollowing? Before the time of social media, this form of rejection never existed.

At one point or another in our lives, we get unfollowed. I don’t just mean via our social media accounts but rejected in various aspects of life as well. A friend might delete you off Facebook and a business partner could want to stop working with you. Some of these things we can shake off easily and move on. Then we are left with those that can haunt us for years to come, until we make an effort to seek out new perspectives in our lives.

After every single rejection we fret over how we’ll be able to put ourselves out there again after being so hurt. We become jaded over the frustration and anger. The same negative emotions pester us to no end and build a negative energy over and over again.

I won’t deny that to a degree, we all need the validation of others. But what’s more is that freeing yourself from being unfollowed or blatantly rejected in life only truly begins when you find fulfillment in yourself.

Most recently I had the pleasure of working with someone incredibly bright in the field of academia with multiple upcoming publications. When she broke down, stating she was alone and that everyone hated her–it was all nonsense to me. Despite having been successful in her field of choice, landing the job of her dreams and having many adoring students she had read negative messages directed towards her while at the same time ignoring all the good.

Anyone in a similar situation would feel lost. Because of this, our motivation is temporarily heightened as we feel the need to obsess over results. This is what happens when we weigh our fulfillment on validation from others and their judgments. Staying grounded is key to having more self-love.

Before you decide on what to wear from your wardrobe each morning, you should wear the confidence. Why? Because it looks good on you.

There is no pleasing everyone. And if they unfollow? Good. You didn’t abandon yourself to keep them.

What we really need aren’t opinions from others on how we should feel. We need to do something. Anything. As long as we do it while treating ourselves with value.

It’s true what they say about us giving up power for others to hurt us by their rejection. Even when we look back to the people that unfollowed and countless more rejections that slapped us across the face in the past, we manage to see the good in it for being the pivot points of our lives. We survived another episode of rejection. And guess what? It wasn’t so bad after all.

So next time you get unfollowed or rejected in one way or another, know that it was just what you needed. Not that “they shouldn’t have!” or “you deserve better! nonsense.

Happiness that remains dependent on judgments formed by others will always be temporary. Beyond that, it’s difficult to recall the world we lived in before part of our validation became based on how many up-votes our thoughts received. Instead of fishing for compliments from others, we can try constantly complimenting ourselves instead. Why not tell yourself you’re awesome everyday?

Can we really learn from rejection you may wonder? Of course we can. Perhaps the rejection happened to show us that our approach was all wrong and yes, ultimately meaning we screwed up. Not only is it important to ask ourselves “Why?” but it’s just as important to ask “What can I takeaway from this rejection?”. We’re capable of reflections that make us better as human beings and prepare us for upcoming opportunities in our lives. Being rejected or unfollowed isn’t a “me game” where the whole situation revolves around you and you only. There isn’t a need to be battling more fears and insecurities of the imagination. Sometimes we’re more capable of nurturing ourselves after rejection than anyone else.

We’re the only ones responsible for healing our own wounds. Not time.

— itsfruitcakeweather.

The PROS and CONS of Instagram

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  • PRO: By the time you’re 65 you’ll have an infinite number of selfies to remind yourself of what you looked like when you were young. (Not to mention photos to show all your grandchildren.)
  • CON: You’ll be reminded that you no longer look like that.
  • PRO: The filters automatically make all your photos look better than they would without.
  • CON: You know its all a lie. You’re no photographer.
  • PRO: You can add 50+ tags to 1 single Instagram photo you take to share with the world.
  • CON: #love #tagsforlikes #tweetgram #photooftheday #50likes #followme #follow4follow #yolo #swag #instalike #instalove #igers #food #nofilter #iphoneonly #photography #instadaily #foodpic #hungry #dessert #outfit #fashion #pink #nails #hair #sunshine #bieber #onedirection #music #PLEASESTOPTHISMADNESS
  • PRO: Your food looks so great on Instagram, now all your followers are jealous!!
  • CON: At some point taking a photo of the food became more important than actually consuming it. You also make yourself hungry late at night when you open Instagram to check for new updates. Karma.
  • PRO: There are millions of cat pictures for you to sit and sift through for weeks to come.
  • CON: I guess there really isn’t a CON to this one.

– itsfruitcakeweather.

7 Signs You’re Dating Facebook

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  1. You check it as soon as you get up in the morning. Pick up your phone, turn on your laptop –check Facebook. You’re afraid you missed out on some emotional 3AM status update from that person your hardly know but went to high school with. You’re also disappointed you didn’t get to like the new profile picture your crush posted right when they posted it because you were asleep. Terrible start to the day.
  2. You get more excited than you should when you receive notifications. Okay, so maybe you’ve been waiting on some event invite or more likes on the new food picture you posted to make your Facebook Friends jealous. That is hardly being attached to Facebook right? Its just that getting more recognition from Facebook somehow makes your day a little better.
  3. You want to tell Facebook where you’re going… actually you just want to tell Facebook EVERYTHING. You tell it when you’re going to the mall, what you’re eating, how you felt that day, the nightmare you had last night, when you change your job… the relationship is getting pretty serious.
  4. Twitter, Tumblr, Pinterest… you’ve got it all but they can’t replace Facebook. You find yourself spending the same amount of time on Facebook regardless of how many other social media accounts you have. It can’t be helped that Facebook contains all your contacts! Twitter just isn’t the same you’d say to yourself. Actually, you just don’t even bother looking at the other things you have because you’re so happy just using Facebook alone.
  5. Everyone uses it too since its gone “mainstream”; the hipster in you doesn’t even care. When you started using it 6 years ago, you didn’t think it would become anything serious. Now you don’t even care if everyone else is using it despite being a self-proclaimed ‘hipster’. Well, love knows no bounds.
  6. You have a Facebook tab open at all times. This is the part where you feel the need to have access to Facebook at all times of the day. Sort of like going above and beyond checking up on your boyfriend/girlfriend and watching them sleep at this point.
  7. You try to add some app to your browser to limit the time you spend on Facebook but end up disabling the app to defeat the purpose. Its doing you no good by helping you procrastinate but you just miss it too much. You long to stare deeply into its vast timeline of updates, photos and texts… such a love-hate relationship.

At this point, the dating has gone from casual to unhealthy. I encourage you to seek help.

Try getting away from Facebook for a day (you’ll come back to realize you hardly missed out on anything)!

– itsfruitcakeweather.

Why Everyone Is Playing Candy Crush Saga

So not everyone plays Candy Crush but… I figured even if you haven’t, you probably receive about 999999999 notifications a day from your Facebook friends requesting more lives anyway. If that isn’t enough for you, Candy Crush also makes an appearance in Psy’s new music video:

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We humans are such strange creatures. It seems that sometimes we don’t even understand why we continue neglecting priorities and procrastinating to keep playing games like Candy Crush Saga. Here is a little insight on why I believe Candy Crush is addictive —

It never ends.

From what I tell, Candy Crush Saga pretty much goes to infinity and beyond. If you happen to make it there, it appears there are other versions like FARM HEROES SAGA for you to deal with. (Not to mention I just found out you can actually get more lives for Candy Crush by playing the other versions of the game. Talk about never-ending.)

This is what makes Candy Crush so addictive. Ultimately, there is no goal. So no one is ever going to be able to say “I’ll be finished after this quest!” … Nope. You’re trapped.

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You get to “interact” with Facebook friends. 

Since none of us are willing to spend money to advance in Candy Crush, the game makes you send loads of requests to your Facebook friends to provide you with “tickets” to advance instead. This draws even more people into playing the ultimately pointless game. You can, as a result, “Play with Friends” as shown in the top right corner.

Its supposed to fulfill our need for human connections. Lovely. I suppose I can keep playing Candy Crush at the expense of real-life relationships. Send me more lives and we’re cool. PEER PRESSURE.

CANDY CRUSH SHOWS YOU RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS.

Its kind of like living out another childhood. WE JUST CAN’T BRING OURSELVES TO LEAVE A CRYING UNICORN 😥

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Final Verdict: Candy Crush is evil. (And highly addictive.)

– itsfruitcakeweather.