The Neglected Books

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Day after day you remained perched on my desk, guilt-tripping me at every glance for not picking you up again.

I still remembered the day I brought you home from the store. There seemed to be an endless amount of potential  that the words on your pages could bring to my life. In fact, I was more than delighted to have sent the little money I had on you, over what could have been a nice evening to the movies or a month’s worth of Netflix subscription. You temporarily deceived me into believing I was perhaps capable of becoming anything beautiful words could form: a writer, dancer, hippie, philosopher, entrepreneur…. there was no way I would’ve passed up the opportunity to know you.

Let it be known I appreciated the knowledge I have extracted from our short-lived time together. But why must you continue to emit non-verbal judgement as I go about my daily activities? As of now, you represent everything I thought you weren’t. You represent my unfinished meals, undone chores, piling schoolwork as I engage with passive entertainment like surfing Youtube and social media networks.

For weeks upon weeks I trudged to work, classes, and meetings with you. You would help me pass time with your many words of wisdom at the doctor’s office while waiting for an appointment. I couldn’t be more grateful but the weight you’ve placed upon  my shoulders while in my backpack has no doubt made me shrink a couple centimeters if not more. I despise you for this.  Shame.

Now I’m beginning to question your value. You’ve hurt my ambitions to achieve greater things in the world of literature.  Admittedly, I should have read you months ago whilst the wonderful summer rays but I procrastinated. Now my OCD is preventing me from neglecting you completely. I am unable to start again with other great written works because of your presence. All I ever really wanted was to maximize the lessons learned from you –not read every word you had to offer.

Believe me, I wanted to learn everything when I caught sight of you. From insight on global economics to math to poetry. I convinced myself you were a worthy investment. Now tell me the honest truth –has anyone ever managed to intake your every word? Do they work? Are they users of public transit that trudge through the cold rain with you on their side? Have they elected to read you over papers they should have read for class instead? Perhaps they took you to more interesting places. Maybe they wrote their first published novel with you by their side, took you travelling and introduced you to everyone at a party. Your thoughtfully composed sentences certainly do deserve more than 15 minutes of fame.

Don’t even get me started on your fictional counterparts! Such tall tales of magical kingdoms, wizards and vampires have had more than enough unwarranted exposure at the bookstore. Sometimes the story even turns into something like a bad pun. A considerable effort to convey a message but the bad punch line leaves a bitter aftertaste. The time I thought I was capable of burrowing through a 10 novel series has come and gone along with a series of unfortunate events.

So, to the books I have neglected on my desk for too long, I can only say I want to be the ambitious ordinary superhero you told me I could be and reach my goals with the wise words you have kindly bestowed on me. Today, I have no choice but to retire you to my shelf along with some other dated folks and visit the bookstore again.

— itsfruitcakeweather.

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Fear: Light At The End Of The Tunnel

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The object of our fears appear frequently in our minds –day in, day out. We all have fears and it in no way makes us weaker than the next person. So tell me, why do you fear? It seems we have come to a common understanding that our fears are bound by irrationality but the reason for our fears tell more of the story than we are willing consider. While I value high determination in an individual to overcome fears, I believe we’re jumping to conclusions too soon. Let us understand why we fear. Better yet, why don’t we accept that we are allowed to have fears just like we tolerate the fact that none of us are not without flaws.

No one can say whether your fears are justified, or even real. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If you don’t believe in the light at the end of your tunnel of fears, what other choices are available? We hear about the people that never quite make it far enough to see the light. We listen to others tell us clichés like: happiness is not something you magically find at the end of your walk down the tunnel, but something you create on your journey down the tunnel. The hipsters within us refuse to abide by such clichés, so we seek the lovely TEMPORARY ‘band-aid’ fix.

Even the band-aid fix cannot be achieved overnight. 

The opportunity to thrive and overcome fear cannot be handed to you. The unknown? Loneliness? Loss of freedom? Disappointment? Failure?  The “why bother?” attitude exists but to some it is a guide towards the light at the end of the tunnel. All you need to have is the desire to see the light and a pinch of patience.

Tomorrow morning you will be wake up and go about your usual daily activities: head to school/work, pay bills, commute, interact with other people. Some more time will pass and you will be able to go to your job knowing there is something left for you to enjoy, even if it’s still considered a hobby. Along this walk down the tunnel you will have family figures to see at the end of your days. The light at the end of the tunnel is already here, but you must choose to turn it on.

— itsfruitcakeweather.

5 Reasons To Love The Job You Love To Hate

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Being young and soon to be unemployed I’m already feeling the pressures of swimming in financial debt. Today was my third to last full day of work and I couldn’t help but wonder where I could possibly go from here on out in this job market.

Looking back, as much as many of us fail to appreciate sitting in an isolated cubicle sifting through papers or flipping some hamburgers on a Saturday morning shift (often times complaining about work)… there are certainly things we got out of these jobs early in our careers as “young adults”, right?

  1. You learned to fake being mature. Depending or where you’ve worked early on in your career, most often than not you had some significantly older co-workers. Perhaps they saw you as a child. Perhaps you felt the need to find relevant topics of conversation to gain their respect. Tough going being young and an adult at the same time. Faked it until you made it.
  2. The bills were paid on time. You paid the damn bills. Need I say more?
  3. One more experience to slap on that resume. Because more jobs mean more diverse experiences, meaning you’ll more likely be hired the next time around right? Because somehow flipping hamburgers or operating the dish washing machine behind some fast food franchise can magically be come transferable skills on your resume.
  4. Your boss/the customer is always right. Provided you kept the job or wanted to keep the job, I’m guessing you learned this point quite well.
  5. Even the worse job has something to teach you. Learn these lessons well. Maybe you realized what you didn’t want to do for the rest of your life. Perhaps you discovered how to deal with the toughest of people. I for one, discovered that given the choice, I wouldn’t want to be holding a 9 to 5 office job sitting in a cubicle (some people may call this ideal or dead-end depending on your perspective). So, while we do mourn over the early shifts and harsh managers there is a load to gain after all.

– itsfruitcakeweather.